Use the video below to help parents understand their role in stewarding the growth of their athletes in all 3Dimensions.
Use the video below to help parents understand their role in stewarding the growth of their athletes in all 3Dimensions.
Powerful, presentation that I wish I had it when coaching and administering to my college athletes. Maybe much may not have then contributed much as the African parent rarely has an influence over the child’s sport participation. Nevertheless, my children have gone through the USA high school process and they were the athletes that could have benefitted a lot had I known about the LEVELS 2 & 3. I am ready though now, to help those under me as coach and their parents get enlightened to these truths.
Its my hope as a Coach that Parents today understand the rules of the road but also the Meaning of Entitlement with respect to their own children. Use praise as a tool in the process of life. Thank you! 3Dimensional Coaching, this course has opened my eyes to the process I have spent 30 years trying to understand.
Sincerely,
Coach Ron Horton
USA Wrestling
Outstanding
Jim, that’s painful to watch, for sure. But it’s a life lesson to challenge the preamble to our Declaration of Independence — all men (and boys, and girls) were NOT created equal. Some can hit the curveball a mile, and some can’t stop a grounder.
I think the answer is in the Team Cohesion unit — Everyone knows what they bring to the team. Getting a kid to understand what they CAN do (and want to do) is key.
I also think it’s a great avenue to the heart of a kid. I asked my son last night if practice was fun, and he said, “YES! Most of the time practice is more fun than the games!” (he sits about half the time, and plays a position the ball doesn’t come to much (baseball)). If the kid has his joy and wonder captured, then the parental joy and wonder of witnessing a game-winning RBI probably needs to take a back seat.
This has been a great challenge to my heart and mind.
What do parents say to kids who do not get to play? I love to watch you warm up? Gets a little tougher. At what point do parents suggest that kids just move on?
Those are two really good questions on playing time and when to stop that almost every parent with children in sports has had to face.
The first question somewhat depends on the age of the participant. If the athlete is younger than 11 or 12 in late developing sports (which most sport are) the problem is in the competitive model of youth sports that we as adults have created and now submit to. In the days of playground sports where kids ran the show they figured out a way for all to participate. When adults took over and winning became a prominent goal, participation’s value was significantly diminished. Until we deal with this systemic problem addressed in the purpose of sport in the circle of play, too many young kids will only get to warm up.
We will look back on these experiences with either gratitude or regret depending on how we handle it. The answers lie in level 2 and 3. I would tell you to encourage a 2nd dimension growth mindset and deal with the level 3/spiritual attributes of character and value. A growth mindset affirms effort, grit and strategy. Affirm hard work and purposeful practice, especially outside the organized team practice. Many times other kids are playing because they have worked harder or longer. Assure your child that they can catch up if they want, if they are willing to put in the effort. Remember that if it captures their imagination, effort will follow. You could probably even use one of their teammates as an example of someone who is skilled because of all the time they put in. A growth mindset finds inspiration in the success of others.
At level 3 we have the opportunity to help our children learn the character attribute of perseverance. Remember that you need tie perseverance to some type of future hope: “Here’s why you should persevere…”
Assure them that their security is not found in their performance, their security is found in the fact that they are loved. This seems self-evident but both our self-esteem movement that tell all our kids they can be anything they want to be and the outcome based sports culture conspire against it.
Your second question about moving on: we all have to! The problem is 75% of kids quit organized competitive sports by the time they get to high school. Because of the adultification of youth sports we are forcing a premature decision on many kids. Personally, here’s how I worked through this with my own kids. First the general rule is that if you start it you finish it. Finish the task. Finish the season. That’s not a universal truth because in a very few situations there are legitimate reasons to not finish something. If you are going the wrong way perseverance isn’t a virtue! Second, as you get older you move from a “both/and” world to an “either/or” world. The pursuit of mastery will take more time and effort. When you say yes to one thing it will require you to say no to something else. Here is where adults can have a difficult time. When we’ve put thousands of dollars into our kids youth sports it is tempting to see that as an investment instead of a sacrifice. Investments require a return. When our kids move on we see it as a terrible return on investment.